At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
