They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
