i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
