k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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