I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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