Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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