can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
