Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize