if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
