Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
