Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
