Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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