I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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