It's just like the Real World with babies
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
porn star boner night. come get it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
