it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
