is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
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