before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
