i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
