just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
