Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
