So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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