What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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