I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
