They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't deserve a penis
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
