he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
