I'm jealous of your bromance
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
