i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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