Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
not ubering you a puppy
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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