they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
