The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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