Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
