those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
