Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
