Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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