If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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