Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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