Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
