Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
