she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
