you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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