I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize