I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
