I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
