I accidentally had phone sex last night
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
