I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
