Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
