So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
