i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
