Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
