Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
