I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
