So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize