in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
