Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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