Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
