Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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