yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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