I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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