genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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