God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize